From my high school days, there are just a few poignant or pivotal moments that still pop into mind from time to time. So much of what was said has simply faded – the scrawled love notes, the hurtful remarks, the earth-shaking conversations about love and life that went on until the wee hours. But there is one statement I heard just once, so many years ago, that I know I’ll never forget.
I was fifteen years old, it was a Saturday night, and I was attending a party in a neighbourhood across town. It was there I met a boy and, somehow or another, fell into a conversation about friends versus girlfriends. I can no longer recall the boy’s face, but I remember very vividly what he said. He proclaimed to me and anyone else who may have been listening, “Friends are forever, chicks ain’t.”
I was affronted by this statement. And soon after, on my sixteenth birthday, my three best girlfriends and I were out for dinner at a restaurant discussing the offending remark. Then and there, we decided to turn that adage around.
The new statement would be Friends are Forever, Guys Ain’t – FAFGA for short. My girlfriends and I created a FAFGA club that same evening and promptly inducted ourselves into it. We were proud to be part of this club – a club known mostly just to the four of us. FAFGA bonded us in friendship and, in a way, helped to carry us through an assortment of failed high school relationships.
And the adage we’d created turned out to be true – at least for the duration of high school – friends were forever and guys were not. Nearly 20 years later, the four of us girls are still close friends. On the contrary, not one of our early boyfriend relationships survived in to our twenties.
However, as we grew and matured, something interesting happened – something we hadn’t factored in to the FAFGA equation. We decided to get married and pledge our love, loyalty and lifelong commitment to none other than guys.
FAFGA began to unravel.
At each of our wedding receptions, the other FAFGA members would get up to the podium, tell the FAFGA story, and then humbly concede to the audience that husbands were, in fact, forever. The husbands were then invited into the club, and FAFGA transformed in to the unwieldy FAFAHAT acronym – Friends are Forever and Husbands are Too.
A few years passed and something even more interesting happened. We began giving birth to boys. Meredith has Cohen. Melanie has Henry. And Julie is the proud mother of three children – all boys. In December, I joined the club, giving birth to my first baby – an adorable, wonderful little boy named Maks.
Our families, for the moment at least, are comprised entirely of guys.
The irony has not escaped us.
I figure it can be none other than the spirit of FAFGA returned from our high school days to poke a little fun and prove us all wrong once again….
Some guys are forever, too.